On Fitting In..

August 6, 2010

I don’t fit in.

There.  I said it.

I’ve never been part of the cool crowd.  In fact, I’m not even sure I’ve ever been part of a “crowd” at all. 

At work I am very much a minority.  I’m  a 20-something female surrounded by baby boomer gentlemen.  The few women that do work in the same building that I work in tend to have their own little group (they consist of 40-60 year old females who work out together daily and never eat lunch because they’re afraid lunch will make their metabolism die).

I obviously don’t fit in with this group either. 

When I was completing my undergrad studies at a large university I joined a sorority.  For the life of me I tried to fit in with those girls, but truth be told, I never really did.  I didn’t fit with the party girls, the brainy girls, or the “fraternity” girls.  I loved them all dearly, but that doesn’t change the fact that I just didn’t fit in with them–and frankly, I still don’t.

Feeling entirely alone and left out is something that unfortunately happens to me more often than I care to admit.

I suppose some of this is because I refuse to be anyone but myself as much as possible.  Now, that’s not to say that being me isn’t completely subject to change because Lord knows I’m a different person every. single. day.  But I just don’t conform very well.  I’m not a follower in most cases (supporter, yes; follower, no). 

The biggest challenge of not fitting in is coming to terms with the loneliness that ensues.  After this many years of being left out I still haven’t come to terms with it, but I’m working on it.

How about you–do you feel like you fit in?!

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