I’ve Decided I Suck at Recaps.

May 7, 2010

I’m sitting here trying to remember all the details of my wedding that I’ve shared with you up to this point.

Somehow all of my drafts are gone (boo!) and all of those things I planned on writing about are missing in action.

So, today I will tell you this.  After nearly a year of being married to Mr. Windows, I really only remember the big things about our wedding–the church (I mean, come on…it was huge), my dress, my family being there, his family being there, and my big ass veil that tried to suffocate me.  But above all, I remember that I got married that day.  I remember that my father took my arm and with the happiest demeanor I’ve ever seen him have, he walked me down the aisle to the man who I would minutes later call husband.

I remember the emphatic joy that my mother expressed nearly everyday from the moment Mr. Windows and I announced our engagement until the very wedding day when she cried on my dress and hooked my necklace and hugged me like only a mother can hug a daughter.

I remember looking at my niece and nephew and thinking how extraordinarily lucky I am to have two such amazing little people play such a big part in my day.

I remember that the only tears I shed without reservation were over my brother and how outstanding he looked.  Seeing him dressed in that tuxedo overwhelmed me–his response was, “Dude, Sis, don’t cry…you’ve got make up on and stuff!”  He’s pretty much the classiest guy I know!  🙂

I remember the tiny tissue I had clutched in my palm that I was sure if it were a living thing I’d have smooshed the breath out of it because it was the only way I knew I could dry my face if I lost my composure.

I remember walking down the aisle with a fresh giggle on my breath and looking at Mr. Windows and seeing how entirely calm he was.  His stance was nothing but absolute.  There was no nervousness and no question in his eyes.  He was ready for this.  I can only hope that I was reflecting the same.

I remember all the love I felt from my family, friends, coworkers, and the people who helped me put that day together.  Without them, that day would’ve been just as special, but maybe less spectacular.

So, in the midst of your own wedding planning, remember this: what you remember is what matters…if you know you won’t remember it, don’t waste a single moment of your engagement worrying about it. 

After 355 days of being married I can say that it hasn’t been easy, it hasn’t been perfect.  It has been fantastical and more than I ever could’ve dreamed.  I can no longer make a decision on my own, spend a dollar on my own, or even feed my dogs on my own.  My husband is my partner, my teammate, and without him I am lost and I am nothing.


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